The Mucho Martini Review

The best romance movies of all time? Here’s MY list…!

August 15, 2011

The best romance movies of all-time, according to me. Keep in mind that this is my list of the best romance movies of all time. If yours are on here too, then great. If they aren’t, and you feel slighted in some miniscule way, so be it. Suck it up and drive on, as my drill sergeant was so fond of saying.

This is MY LIST! And, in no particular order either, as I haven’t the time to figure out the pecking order. Also, this will probably be an ever-evolving list. New flicks hit the marquis on a weekly basis, and who knows where the next gems will come from. It’s best to keep an open mind, and roll with the flow of things…

Harold and Maude – This is a messed up, little classic, that’ll have you scratching your head long after you’ve finished watching it. I’ve seen it a few times, and it’s been years since my last viewing, but the thought of this film still elicits very strong emotions and images even to this day. If you ever find yourself wondering who would fall for a young Bud Cort, then just know you are not alone. Apparently, the answer is an elderly Ruth Gordon. If you ever find yourself wondering who would fall for an elderly Ruth Gordon, well…

My Fair Lady – what would this list be without at least one musical to round out the field. There will be more musicals, mind you, but this tops the list. Audrey Hepburn is simply sparkling in this piece, and the musical numbers are second to none. Check out the “with a little bit’o luck” number if you have any doubts.

Joe Versus the Volcano – Anybody who knows me also knows that this is my favorite movie of all time, regardless of which genre you choose to place it in. Obviously, it doesn’t work well on a ‘horror movies’ list, or even ‘post-apocalyptic thriller’, blah blah & blah. It’s my favorite movie EVER, and it certainly fits in the Rom-Com category, if not romance in general. Deal with it…!

The Notebook – I will readily admit that I have never seen this movie. I can lay claim to having seen thousands upon thousands of movies in my lifetime, many of which I still remember to this day But, I have never seen this one. So how can it be on my list, you ask? This movie makes EVERYBODY’s best romance movies list, and is usually listed in the top 5. In fact, and this is what sealed it for me… When I was working in the local Comcast call center (troubleshooting internet issues, email problems, Comcast virus protection free downloads, etc.)…

I spoke to a woman about changing her password for one reason or another. In order to verify her info, to know for a fact she was who she said she was, I had to ask her about the security question, which in this case was ‘What is your favorite movie?’ Guess what she said… Yep, The Notebook… Favorite movie of all time. Since I’m well aware that my favorite movie elicits many sideways glances, I took her answer very seriously, and looked into the film a bit. The cast is stellar, the storyline seems to be solid, what else is there really? Plus, Julia Roberts isn’t in it, which gives it an innate boost right from the start.

Say Anything – John cusack for me represents a rather asexual attitude toward film-making, and I have no explanation why. He’s always been one of my favorite actors, but whenever I see him in a romance flick, I tend to cringe. Again, no particular reason, I’m sure he’s a helluva fellow and all. Why I even have an opinion on the matter is beyond me. This movie will always be one of my favorites, probably because of Lili Taylor, and her obsession for Joe, which comes out rather humorously in singer/songwriter manifestations throughout the film.

Forrest Gump – This may very well be one of the most original screenplays I have ever seen, and the storyline moves through so much material with so little effort, it’s difficult to not want to crown Tom Hanks as cinematic royalty. The story never feels forced, the laughs come very easily, and you can’t help but root for this moron, who spends the entire flick idolizing one of the most flawed, tainted and damaged heroines in recent history. Who else could make a simpleton wanna jog from sea to shining sea, without so much as a care about his own safety or personal agenda?! Jenny Curran, that’s who…!

Honeymoon in Vegas – Stop me if you’ve heard this tale… Guy gets girl, guy loses girl in a high-stakes poker game, guy gets girl back by joining a local paratroop outfit and besting the creepy old guy with abandonment issues…(James Caan… She Caan’t be serious, right?!) Sure, we’ve all been there, but the ‘Flying Elvises’ really bring this one home. There aren’t many movies with Nick Cage (The male equivalent to Julia Roberts, IMHO) in them that I’ll openly endorse, but catching Sarah Jessica in her pre-sex-in-the-city days is still worth a viewing. If you don’t believe me, then check out L.A. Story or Footloose, and then tell me that she has no range…!

Amélie – What would this list be without at least one foreign flick to soothe the needs of the art-house types, who won’t give credence to anything that doesn’t recognize the genre? So, Amélie is an obvious choice. The cast is amazing; Audrey Tatou is so easy on the eyes, and her screen presence alone brings Audrey Hepburn so easily to mind, so she finds her rightful place on this list. The only other movie I know I’ve seen her in is The DaVinci Code, and that won’t be making any list… except perhaps the list of movies that actually go step for step with the book. In which case, No Country for Old Men would top the list…

Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner – This film delves into the trappings and misconceptions of Jungle Fever, well before there was even a slang term to go with the phenomenon. Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn are at their best as always, and Sidney Poitier is simply astounding and captivatingly confident in his craft. Don’t miss this one, though it may stir many emotions as it weaves its way through the material.

Overboard – Nothing like a little amnesia, Putt-putt golf, and an heiress kidnapping to bring the family closer together. Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are a very likeable couple, both on-screen and off, so this seems a logical choice to make the list. This movie is also on my ever-expanding short-list of flicks, that I just can’t seem to turn off once I’ve started to watch them. That’s a tough row to hoe though, ‘cuz this movie seems to be on one of the major cable networks nearly every other night. You know who you are, TNT…! Also on the ‘short-list?’; Diehard, The Thirteenth Warrior, Jaws, and Barney the purple dinosaur freak and all those creepy little dancing kids that seriously make me wanna puke, even though the show can be wildly entrancing (Strangely, I have no problem with Baby-Bob, though…).

Sixteen Candles – Certainly, we have to work a John Hughes, 80′s, Brat-packer flick into the mix, right? Well, this little gem of a movie is so much more than that. This thing is racy, obscene, disturbing, laugh out loud, and senselessness on a grand scale. Plus, John Cusack is in it, and Anthony Michael Hall too.

When Harry Met Sally – With so many Meg Ryan offerings in this particular genre, it’s really tough to keep her entries limited to just a few. This movie also stars Billy Crystal, who doesn’t really get a lot of play in the romance category, and with good reason; I’m still not sure that a Meg Ryan type would ever fall for a Billy Crystal type, but hey… Julia Roberts went for Lyle Lovett in some bizarre-o, celebrity universe, so why not, huh?! It’s no wonder Meg had to fake that orgasm, am I right ladies?

Gone With The Wind – Don’t ever confuse this film with the feel-good genre of film-making, as there is very little in the way of happy ending scenarios. In fact, this may be the most drab and dreary love story ever set to celluloid. Watch only if you are truly prepared not to ‘give a damn’ about the feel-good aspect of Tinseltown. There truly is NOTHING civil about war…

The Sound Of Music – Yes, the hills are alive… with persecution, Nazi dictatorship, wonderful dance numbers, and a home-wrecking nun. The fact that my parents named me after one of the sons in the movie goes a long way toward keeping this masterpiece in my heart, but there are other reasons as well. No, none of the sons were named Canklefish, but you have a one in three chance of guessing my real name. The song and dance numbers are memorable, and it’s not often you get to see a nun strut her stuff. Maybe Sally Field pulled it off way back when, but it’s still a rarity.

Casablanca – I don’t give a rat’s ass what anybody, especially movie critics, have to say; this movie isn’t all that great. At least, it doesn’t hold up to the test of time. But, I have a funny relationship with film that way. First off, I don’t think ‘The Departed’ was Best Picture worthy, but everybody else seems to love it. I don’t think ‘Meet the Parents’ was all that good, creative, or funny, but all the cattle/sheep that watch movies seem to disagree. And, that’s where I fall on this film. It reminds me of ‘Some Like it Hot’; over-hyped, over-acted, bloated and unnecessary. But, the kids seem to love it… You wanna see a great Humphrey Bogart flick? Check out the ‘Treasure of the Sierra Madre,’ then we’ll talk.

Forces of Nature – Yes, every now and then Ben Affleck will do something right with his acting. He’s a top-notch director, but most times his acting will make you question whether or not he truly knows Matt Damon, or if he paid him an undisclosed amount of money to have his name associated with that gifted actor. Either way, Sandra Bullock really carries this flick, and Maura Tierney is always great in her cameos. Ben Affleck is just there, and that’s about the best thing you’ll ever hear about his acting chops.

Brokeback Mountain – If this movie wasn’t so great, then it would have ended the careers of both Jake and Heath, but as it turns out they both came out the other side unscathed, if not over-appreciated. As it turns out, Heath didn’t have much time left, and that is truly tragic, ‘cuz the guy was just coming into his own. If you watch this movie with an open mind, and hold your judgements to a minimum, you will see one of the truly great films of the past 10 years. Plus, I like seeing Jake play the bitch, kinda keeps things in perspective. If his sister Maggie had been given the role of his wife, then we could’ve rolled incest into the mix as well, but Anne Hathaway is a suitable fill-in.

Lost in Translation – If you enjoy the weird, unsettling sensation of watching others perform karaoke, then you’ll truly understand why watching this flick is such a joy. Bill Murray is wonderful in ANYTHING he appears in, and this was wayyyy before anybody realized that Scarlett Johansson makes Rosie Perez seem like Oscar caliber talent. This movie never disappoints, regardless of how many times you see it. If only Sophia Coppola could hit it outta the park with every one of her efforts…

Annie Hall – Before Woody Allen was an incestuous, creepy, home-wrecking pedophile, there was Annie Hall. This movie is probably considered to be his best, if not his most revered, and for good reason. The material is never dated, Diane Keaton’s wardrobe is never out of style, and the dialogue always seems to flow in the right direction, whether it’s 1986 or 2011. You just can’t go wrong with this masterpiece of the cinema.

Grease – Grease is the word, alright. This movie boasts one of the most inspirational dance scenes in cinematic history, and wouldn’t you know it… It ends in a lovers quarrel, or spat, or whatever you want to call it… It ends with her mad at him, because of some other chick, etc. You get the picture. This is still one of the most memorable soundtracks you’ll come across, and it’s a tough one to leave off the list. Yet another musical number that makes the grade. This is way back when John Travolta still made the ladies swoon, and he wasn’t dancing around with Sissy in a honky-tonk bar.

Urban Cowboy – Say what you want about John Travolta, but this guy can dance, whether he’s at the Rydell high Senior prom, or he’s dancing with Sissy in some redneck, honky-tonk bar. See what I did there? This flick also boasts one of the most memorable lines in cinematic history; ‘Everybody thinks that cowboys are dumb, but some of us got smarts real good…’ I’m paraphrasing, of course, but you get the picture. This movie won’t make you think about life in intellectual, spiritual terms, but you’ll have a rollicking good time watching John Travolta get his ass whooped by Scott Glenn, over and over and over…

An Officer and a Gentleman – I don’t know where the ‘Gentleman’ part of Mayo’s personality comes into play here, but Debra Winger can play bitchy with the best of ‘em. This movie has it all; fight scenes, fighter pilots, cheap motels, fake pregnancies meant to snag a fly-boy hubby, and an abduction at the local textiles mill. All in all, a very memorable flick, meant to give women the false impression that there are men out there who are prepared to do the right thing, even if that means putting their own careers on hold for a bit. Good luck with that one, ladies…

Bull Durham – Gotta work a sports movie in here somewhere, seeing as I’m such a sports fanatic. Bull Durham is a logical choice. Who hasn’t fallen for the local baseball groupie, cougar chick that hangs out at the ballpark and tries to seduce men half her age? Count me in, people! And, don’t ever accuse Tim Robbins of only taking the safe roles. This guy’s made more duds than Janeane Garofalo, Ben Affleck, and Shelley Long combined…!

Sweet November – Just when you thought you’d seen it all… Keanu Reeves makes the list for romance flicks. What’s next? Jon Favreau makes the list for actors with humility and talent? Charlize Theron is rarely in any film she can’t save in some way, and this is no exception, which brings me to our next selection…

Monster – Yep, I said it… MONSTER is a romance flick. Charlize really shows her chops, and who says that psychopathic, neurotic, serial killing, overprotective sociopaths don’t need some lovin’ every now and then? Christina Ricci is always great, but Charlize is the draw here, which is why she managed to snag the Oscar statue folks.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – The title says it all, really. Have you ever been so profoundly affected by someone, to the point that the memory of that person would haunt you ’til the end of days, so that you’d rather pay handsomely to have risky, experimental, exploratory , mind-wiping surgery performed, that would rid you of all your memories of that person forever and ever…?! Yeah, me too!

Titanic – This movie may be a bit sappy for some, but the story is good, Leo is at his best, and Kate Winslet really comes into her own with this role. It’s a bit on the lengthy side, but the ship sinking scenes alone are worth the price of admission. This is a rare case where Blockbuster budget and overall film experience truly come together perfectly… Unlike Avatar, for instance…!

The Night We Never Met – If adultery to escape a pointless marriage is your thing, then look no further than this Matthew Broderick / Annabella Sciorra gem. Plus, she manages to sleep with the wrong guy at first, which is a rather amusing twist. There, my first spoiler alert… Suck it, bitches!

Ghost – Sexy pottery scenes, a bodily invasion of Whoopi Goldberg, and Patrick Swayze dies for the first time. Plus, Demi Moore is in it. Need I say more?

Leaving Las Vegas – Say what you want about the subject matter, this is still a romance film, albeit one of the most dark and ominous additions to the genre. As I mentioned earlier, Nick Cage isn’t one of my favorites, but watching him try to drink himself to death kinda gave me some weird satisfaction. Elizabeth Shue is an amazing actress; combining a rare mixture of beauty, intelligence and humility in one package. I can’t think of one movie she’s made that I didn’t enjoy on some personal level, and that goes for The Karate Kid too!

The Night We Never Met – I honestly don’t know if this little gem is on anybody’s radar. I know that most people just look at me with a blank stare when I mention it, so I’ll claim it as my own discovery. I’ve been trying to get the word out ever since. Hell, you can’t even rent it from Netflix, if that gives you any indication of it’s obscurity. Matthew Broderick is at his clever best, and this is actually the flick that introduced me to Anabella Sciorra. Here’s a fun little game you can play; see how many fake accents you can spot in the film. I’ll give you a hint; Jeanne Tripplehorn isn’t French, and Dana Wheeler-Nicholson (Chevy Chase’s love interest in Fletch) isn’t Norwegian. Also, there are some amazing cameos in this movie, including a rare Justine Bateman sighting… Here’s the trailer

If Lucy Fell – Sure, a flick centering around Sarah Jessica Parker scheduling an imminent suicide pact with her less than savory roommate may seem like a slam-dunk, but there’s so much more to this movie than that. For one, I still envy the balls it takes to turn one wall of an apartment into a working calendar, that they repaint every month to suit the days. Also, Ben Stiller is amazing in this movie, and you really get a glimpse into what makes him so unlikeable… in a good way?

The Cutting Edge – Hmmm, I may lose a lot of friends over this one, considering the amount of figure skating involved. But, at least there’s some hockey in the film to offset the estrogen levels, help me maintain my masculine persona. One thing I always take away from this film is that Moira Kelly just doesn’t make enough movies. She needs to steer clear of Aaron Sorkin TV dramas and ‘One Tree Hill’, and get back to the edgy stuff she was doing way back when… like ‘Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me’ for instance. Also, D.B. Sweeney really plays nicely opposite Moira, and the chemistry they had lifts the script to the right levels.

Sure, some of the best romantic movies of all time have undoubtedly been left off the list, but these are the flicks that spring to mind when I think of the romance genre. The fact that very little research went into the creation of this list should tell you a couple things; first, I watch a lot of movies; second, I watch a lot of movies over and over again, to the point where I can see them clearly without having to pop them into the DVD player…

Honorable mention goes to, ‘About Last Night‘ with Demi Moore, Rob Lowe and Jim Belushi. This probably could’ve been added to the list, but I’ve seen it recently, and it just doesn’t hold up with the passing of time. Sure, Elizabeth Perkins is the bitch that we’ve all come to adore, and Demi looks better than ever in her 1980′s wardrobe, but the acting is stiff and the storyline feels forcibly moved in a direction that just doesn’t work all the way through the picture. it’s still a movie that any serious film fan should check out, though, so it gets a mention. See, I’m a bit of a softie…

Wanna see how serious I am about my movie obsession? Check out some of my (Canklefetish) reviews at the Four Word Film Review website…

This isn’t just a list of the best romance movies of the decade, mind you; this is a compilation spanning every decade of my film-going experience.

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